Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Tribute. To. A. Faceless. Man.

On Tuesday 31st January 2012 I drove into the driveway of the offices where I work on Ballyclare Drive in Sandton. 
I saw a number of police vehicles outside the residential house next door to our premises but presumed it had nothing to do with us. I parked, walked into the office, greeted everyone, turned on my computer and opened up outlook express.

It was a day like any other.

A little while later we saw an entire investigative unit walking around all over the property. 
We found out that the 60-year-old man staying there had been robbed and murdered at the house. 
He had been strangled, they had trashed his house and robbed him. 
It is shocking to think that this story will not make it into any news bulletin. 
It is sickening to realize how little value a human life has in comparison to inanimate objects.

My fear is that we become so desensitized to the tragedy of what surrounds us that we fail to “feel” in a world desperate for answers.

Hence, I dedicate this blog post to a man I never met.
To a man I have never seen.
To a man I will never know.

Dear faceless man

I know you are gone. 
I know your life has passed you by. 
I know that no words can comfort those who were perhaps close to you or the single person/ mass of persons who may have loved you.
My fear is that no one is going to miss you. 
My fear is that you left this world in such an inhuman manner and no one will mourn your loss. 
My fear is that your heart felt utter loneliness as you gasped for life and you had no one to express that to. 
My fear is that in your last moments of desperate heart-wrenching breath… you knew that the removal of your significance from this planet would remain unnoticed.

Even as I write this I think about how vulnerable and susceptible we are as human beings. 
Life is short and the future is unknown. 
We attempt to live in protected spaces and hide our loved one’s from any lurking danger. 
We wake up every morning and work our asses off for a salary to pay the rent and school fees and our pension fund so that one day we can settle into the comfortable crevices of what we perceive to be safety. 
We deceive ourselves into thinking we will be ok if we can just make it through to next month, to next year, to when there is enough… 

But there is never enough. 
We always want more. 
We are never satisfied. 
We are never content. 
We are always seeking. 
We are always attempting to fill the hole within.

Faceless man... 
If I had one moment to try and save you from the trauma of what happened to you - I would. 
Not because I am some good Samaritan girl with a heart that feels. 
There is one (and only one) reason to explain why I feel this way. 
There is one reason I cried for you on Tuesday night. 
There is one reason I am moved to the point of wishing I could have reached out to you and fought for your life. 
There is one reason.
That reason is simple.

Jesus Christ.

I am not a fanatic with devious conspiracies about what I believe in.
I am not some lunatic with crazy ideals and visions. 
I am not some do-gooder with ideas on how to save my soul from the inevitable.

I simply found love.

I found it in a Saviour who gave everything so that I could live. 
He forgave me whilst I was still an enemy to him. 
He gave his life for me when I didn’t even believe in him.
I wish for one second, for one minute, for one moment… I could show you, I could tell you what he has done for me. 
I wish you could see that. 
I wish you could feel that. 
I wish I could explain it to you. 
I wish that the truth of what this life is actually about would penetrate your heart… and even if it were for one single moment… that you could see HIM.

He is love.

He is the most beautiful and magnificent person you could ever meet.

So I sit here on my couch… writing to you when I have never known you. 
I sit here hoping with every cell in my mortal body that you would have tasted of His goodness. 
I sit here with tears running down my face… because He loved you before time began… And as I sit here… I hope… against all odds… that you cried out to him.

Faceless man… 
He is gracious and forgiving and there is no evil ever found in Him.

I wish I could have told you that.