Wednesday, May 18, 2011

< closer than you think >

A realization from 2010

Over the last few days I have come to realize (once again) that I don’t care about anything else in this world but making a difference for the ONE who endured the agony of the cross for me. The ONE who sits and stares and laughs and speaks and dances and is so deeply INVOLVED in every aspect of my daily life even when I am too tired to care. I know that this year has been a good one, a learning one, a victorious one, a crazy one, a rough one… I know that I have disappointed many people. I know that I have disappointed myself. I know that I have failed, judged and fallen into wrong patterns of behavior and thinking. I have found myself clinging to worthless idols and speaking words of disgust out of hurt and anger…
I have found myself in a place of wanting.
And, in that place, HE has found me.
He hasn’t burst out of the clouds in a great fury of fire and emotion.
He hasn’t tip-toed into my room and remained, waiting, quietly in the corner.

He has walked up to me, effortlessly picking me up, and gracefully placed me on his lap with the authority of a dad.
He has held me in his arms of overwhelming strength like a lover who cannot let go.
He has kissed my head and spoken weighty truth into my heart.
He has held my gaze with a sunset while gently altering my perspective.
He has taken my small hands in his huge ones – teaching me how to dream again.
He has traced my face with his fingertips – owning me with his touch.
He has sat with me and laughed uncontrollably till I can feel the trembling of his laughter in the thunder.
He has sat with me and sobbed, his body shaking with turmoil, as if my human tears were his very own.
He has held me through agony, aching confusion and my screaming human desire for answers.

He has closed his eyes sometimes… not out of frustration or irritation, but because he is remembering something.

He is remembering a moment

A moment when he walked in indescribable agony up to a cross on a hill.

A moment on that excruciating journey when he thought of me and KNEW it was for me.

He remembers that moment… as he holds me… and he simply pulls me CLOSER whispering:

“You’re worth it. You’re mine. You always will be.”
He is my God.
He is my Savior.
He is my King.
He is my Lover.
He is my Best friend.
He is my Everything.

And my desire is for YOU to see him in all that he is and can be to you.

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